Here I sit, proud beyond words and crying like a baby. I am witnessing my sister living out her dreams.
It's one of those moments where you just know that there is something so much bigger out there than you. Such purpose, such passion, so much life to be lived. He's such a good God. She inspires me like that.
I'm going to be 28 this month. It's a weird feeling, this whole getting older thing. I hear that time only speeds up from here on out. I can't imagine once Eric and I have kids. It feels too fast already.
I wonder if we ever feel like we have enough time. Do we ever feel like we did all that we could with the time, and abilities we have been given? Instinctively, I want to say that we never do, because that justifies all the silliness and wasted time that is a part of my every day life. But such a big part of me hopes, with everything I am, that it's possible. I really want it to be possible.
As someone who has struggled with debilitating anxiety, it's really easy to say no to things. When my anxiety was at it's worst, I didn't leave my house unless it was absolutely necessary. I was in survival mode. Since then I've definitely learned to adapt, and though I still sometimes struggle with anxiety, I'm happy to say I love my life, and I feel as though I do pretty well these days. However, my favorite place in the world is still my bed, with my laptop, and a glass of wine - nobody there but me. But tonight, in this glorious, Holy Spirit moment, I'm so inspired and reminded of all that there is to do. And not just "the great commission" do, but the "I've never felt more alive than I do right now" do. My friend Elisa just beat cancer, and I just watched a video of her hang gliding over the freaking ocean. That's what I call alive. It's what I want. But man, is it easy to say no.
So here I sit, behind my laptop, with a glass of wine, and I can't wait for tomorrow. For the opportunity to say yes to more, to live out new mercies, to experience all the there is on August 7th, 2014. Thanks Jayne, for giving me this tonight. To say that you're an inspiration is an understatement of the century. I sure do love you.